It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
