look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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