billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
