dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
