Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
