I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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