this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
