So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
