And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
