Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
