Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
