Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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