Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
