I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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