Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
