I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
