why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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