the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
