I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
