I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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