they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
