Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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