ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
