Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
