U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
