Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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