I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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