Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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