Jerry, you need to find god
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
