I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
