i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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