Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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