Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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