Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
