Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
