This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
