i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
