no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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