she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I love you. Go after that dick
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
