i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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