just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
