I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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