So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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