i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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