hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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