Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
