i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
