let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
