Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
