I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
